Quiet

I just finished filling out more stupid social security papers. This time they sent me a paper about fatigue. It just seems like the same old questions over and over again. I don't know how much more information they need about my conditions. I sure don't understand why they didn't just send all the papers together. Oh well. This is a stupid game that they make you play. Ironically, they didn't play too many games when they deducted money out of each of my paychecks through the years. I expect to be denied as I hear that is what they do to everyone the first time. I know that I have a ligit case to get it but I have no choice but to appeal when they do. I don't expect to hear anything soon anyway so I will not even go there yet. I imagine when we have been kicked out on the street and are sitting on a corner begging for food they may pay some attention. Wow, that was negative. Sorry. My husband received a paper from them today for him to call the my worker and talk about my conditions. At least they are gonna talk to someone that knows all about it.

Today is another day. What can I say? I am pretty exhausted today and was up and down all night last night. I did manage to rest some. I am still in my bathrobe. I need to take a shower but don't really have the energy to do that. I am just trying to remain in this quiet place that I have here in my bedroom with minimal pain at the moment. When I start hurting again I will get up and try the hot shower routine.

I miss working. I felt so good about myself and even though my job was stressful, I was a contributing member of society. I don't feel important anymore. The days just seem like I am waiting for something to happen. Sometimes they are blurred with attempts to get rid of pain. Sometimes they are quiet like right now...not peacful but, quiet.