Painville

This page is black because this is what I feel today. It is raining outside. Ouch is all I can say. My feelings of frustration about my inability to control my chronic pain overwhelm me. For three years now I have fought this fight. I am now totally consumed by pain. I do feel a lot of support from my son and husband today. They don't seem to just blow off my complaints today. I thank God for that because this is a lonely fight. My daughter on the other hand seems to understand, or says that she does, but I am not really sure. It is difficult for others to understand. I am sure that it is just as frustrating to them to have a wife and a mother that is not able to do all that she did before. I mean, wow, I did it all! I was the main bread winner, the house cleaner, the person that everyone could count on the make sure it was all taken care of. Now I don't leave my house. Sometimes I remain in the quiet of my bedroom for hours with darkness surrounding my spirit because that is all I can take. I begin this blog in hopes that I can work through this and rise above somehow. I have to do something. Maybe this will help someone else that suffers. Maybe this will help someone else understand another person that suffers. Maybe it will help me to understand why.